We all have an “Everyone.”
They’re the ones who pop up when we begin to imagine that we can be something different than we’ve been, do something different than we’ve done, live like the version of ourselves that we’ve always known, deep down inside (or maybe just discovering!) we are. Our Everyone direct us, tell us what to do, how to dress, how to “act,” how to feel about ourselves... They communicate, mostly in a quiet, almost un-noticed way and they are very, very passive aggressive!
Here are a few examples of how your Everyone communicates to you:
>> Everyone will think I’m crazy...
>> Everyone will think I’m too much...
>> Everyone will say “who do you think you are?”
>> Everyone will laugh...
>> Everyone will question my ability/capacity/choice/joy/authenticity
>>Everyone will hate me
I recently facilitated a workshop for the Rebelle Community (if you’re not a member, you should seriously consider joining - it’s an amazing community of womxn who are driven to define and design their lives in a more intentional way). We explored two of my most frequently used and powerful coaching tools that utilize the body and mind to create a vision for the future life you want to design. It’s a particularly fun and exciting part of the coaching process because it allows clients to move from what they think is possible (which is often a narrower and more limited version) to a much bigger, broader vision that includes things they previously thought were impossible.
The byproduct of these exercises, though, is that we come back to our current reality and almost automatically think, “well, that’ll never happen” or “that’s not possible.” And those thoughts are almost always hand-in-hand with our Everyone.
But who are we actually thinking of when we say Everyone?
For most of us, we can count 3 maybe 4 people who make up our Everyone. And when we can see that we are giving those few people the power of EVERYONE over us, we have the opportunity take our power back and to start making choices based off of what we want/know is right for ourselves... not what we imagine our Everyone will think.
After the workshop, one awesome woman came up to me and said, “everything changed for me the moment you asked us that question because I immediately saw that my Everyone was this one guy in middle school who was always mean to me!” Literally one mean, lame dude in MIDDLE SCHOOL has been unconsciously dictating this woman’s choices for years and years. But not now... not anymore. Upon identifying that, she took her power back.
So, who is your Everyone? Who are you unconsciously allowing to choose for you, to hold you back, to push you down and make you small? See them and send them on their way... 👋🏽