We’ve been told that if it’s “right for us” it should feel effortless, easy. It should flow like a beautiful stream. We shouldn’t experience resistance or discomfort. This could be true with a job, a relationship, health, wellness, nutrition, exercise… the list goes on. I’ve told myself this story… I see students and clients telling themselves this story… and I certainly see it blasted all over social media: the idea that if it requires work, we must be doing something wrong. Or, quite simply, if it’s hard, I’m going to move away from it with the false sense that I’m doing something that’s right for myself. And this idea is so appealing because who really doesn’t want easy?!
Sometimes what’s right is also easy, and when it is, man is it lovely! But this is a misunderstood message that often creates more confusion than anything else. There is a big difference between something feeling easy and something feeling right. And the feeling state of “right” is what I’m most interested in helping my coaching clients access. Right feels aligned. Right feels connected. Right feels energized. Right also feels sometimes like it takes a lot of hard work and guts and determination and waking up and doing it all again.
Here’s the thing, when you define what you want, from a deeper place of understanding the WHY of what you want, it can take a lot of hard work, some serious discipline, some major discomfort, and some perseverance in order to make that thing happen. The knowing of rightness isn’t conceptual, it’s experiential. You FEEL it. Your “right” cannot be determined or defined by anyone else but you. And you can’t always think it but you can certainly always feel it.
So, take a moment to think back to when something felt right. What did it feel like to you? How did you know? And when did something feel easy (from the surface maybe even “right”) but definitely wasn’t right? How did you know? And once you determine the difference in those two experiences begin to prioritize the things that feel right over the things that feel easy and see what begins to happen.