Ever hear someone say, “Just TRUST yourself,” and then you immediately think, but which self am I trusting? I mean which version, which identity, which self are you actually supposed to trust?
Many of us have had the experience of “trusting” ourselves only to find out that that very self that convinced us that __(fill in the blank)___ was actually a good idea, or what we needed, or how we should approach something was actually totally and completely (and sometimes terribly) wrong. So whom do you trust then? How do you actually know what it is you need and should do?
Those of you who work with me regularly (via yoga and/or coaching) know that I’ve been slightly obsessed with the concept of “support” lately (okay, maybe for a while now). And that's simply because when we are supported (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically), we are less depleted and more available to whatever life presents to us. We show up more full, more present, more able to respond to life, itself. In class and in coaching sessions, we explore things like, “what would support you right now?” “Are you allowing yourself to be supported?” “How do you know what you need and how to you provide yourself with just that thing?” “What would fill you up rather than deplete you?”
First, we have to acknowledge the basic fact that none of us know everything. Even if we know a ton about something, we certainly don’t know a lot about a lot of things and there’s always space to learn. Always. Thank goodness for all those people out there that know more than us so that we can learn from them (I say as I bow down to all those who humble and teach me daily).
So we go OUT to collect and gather information (facts, opinions, data, suggestions, ideas…). And, thanks to technology, we certainly have an abundance of that at our fingertips at any moment.
Second, however, is to acknowledge that we actually know everything (when it comes to knowing what we actually need). So the one thing we absolutely must do, after going out to gather information, is to go IN for our answers. We must go in to see the affect, to see the internal response, to see if the *thing* we implemented, tried, explored actually provided us with the desired outcome. Think: trial & error, pure and simple. And this is where the confusion lies. We tend to trust that which is OUTside of us more than that which is INside. So when that which we got from OUTside doesn’t seem to “work,” we tend to go OUT again, rather than in. We look for others to tell us what works/ed for them and we expect it to do the same for us. And we loose our footing, and get depleted, and give up, and fall down.
But when we take the time, give ourselves the space, without expectation, to see clearly and listen attentively, that which is IN us will give us very clear indicators about what is and isn’t supportive. It's a continuous, ever-evolving process. The more we do it, the more we begin to make choices in life (and in the practices that support our life) that give us exactly what we need. And we find that we are living with a truer sense of self, a more grounded experience of who we are and how we can show up in the world. Begin to see and feel that self. And then trust that. Trust yourSELF.